I want IVF

11 Mar

I cried today because I see no end to this traumatizing experience. I cried today because I’m in constant pain from this, whether its physical, mental or emotional. I went for a check up today…I should have ovulated by now. My follicles still weren’t big enough, but the problem is that they are all growing at the same pace. I have 12 just on my right ovary. He told me to stop today and take two more shots tomorrow. Now I’m at 13 shots for this month…I am emotionally burnt and I don’t really know what to do or feel. I feel like this is such a failure. They all told me this…it will be really hard to have someone as young as you make as little follicles as we need. You will maybe resort to IVF. Is it horrible of me that I just want to do it next month? I can’t keep shooting myself up and come out with failure after failure after failure. Tonight I started feeling excruciating cramping and when I went to use the restroom I found spotting. Now I know spotting like this happens when an embryo implants and as much as I would love to think that’s happening to me it’s quite impossible. After calling the doctor he told me yes your endometrium isn’t thick enough so you need to take medicine until I see you two days from now. Really universe? Because I need more pain and confusion ontop of everything I have already! I emailed my specialist in the states after I finished with my doctor and told her I don’t think this month will work…I’m coming on the 24th of march and I need to do a cycle with you. I begged her to do IVF. I don’t know if she will approve or my insurance since I haven’t done regular cycles in the states yet, everything has been in Kuwait. I’m just tired, I can’t keep doing failed cycles. I just want IVF.

6 Responses to “I want IVF”

  1. satoyafoster March 11, 2013 at 10:06 pm #

    Hope deferred really does make the heart sick. I will definitely say a prayer for you that your dreams will come true and bring joy to you and your family. Sending very big supportive hugs your way. xoxo

  2. needbabydee March 12, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    That sucks ass hun, I’m soooo sorry… It really does seem like the universe is playing a sick joke on us. Its hard to say “hang in there” cos damn, I know you have been doing just that, but I hope it all gets better for you. Lots of Love and Hugs…

  3. Lauren March 13, 2013 at 2:46 am #

    Oh, I am so sorry! Almost the exact same things happens to me…after three years I am finally doing IVF. Crazy how you can be young and healthy and almost have MORE obstacles because of that. Where in the states are you coming? I am so sorry this month is so hard. I understand your pain, but I have no words right now.
    Hugs to you and hang in there!

    • bloggerkuwait March 13, 2013 at 4:21 am #

      Hey girlie…yes absolutely horrible. I am in Virginia…where are you located? I cabt believe how fast things have changed for both of us…I keep thinking of you and where uou are right now. I hooe you are doing better and excited about IVF..I sure am for you 🙂

  4. theunexpectedtrip April 1, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

    I’m glad to see that you found my blog, and I found yours. I’m so sorry you went through this! I often can’t see an end to the trauma, either, and combatting that depression and exasperation is sometimes futile. Am with you. xx

    • bloggerkuwait April 2, 2013 at 6:54 pm #

      I’m glad we did too. Thank you for sharing…it’s definitely nice having each other there for support xo

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