A Change of Plan

13 Mar

There are so many uncertainties once you start the journey to TTC. The uncertainty that your body will adjust accordingly to medication, the uncertainty of fertility, and then the uncertainty of carrying to term. I have learned today the new meaning of uncertainty because in a weird and magnificient way my path to treatment has been one trying yet miraculous journey. The trying part has been since the beginning. The miraculous part is how the past few days have fallen together. Before you catch your breath..no, I am not pregnant. If I were, I would be screaming from the top of my lungs in this post. This cycle was suppose to go normally. I was suppose to atleast get some kind of movement nomatter how miniscule just to make sure I can get to the next step of IVF in the states at the end of this month. Because I had booked my roundtrip ticket from the States when I moved to Kuwait with my husband…I had to have a return flight to the US again. In august when I made my way to kuwait, I chose my return flight to be in March. I had booked for the 24th because thats when my husband could travel from work and we were set on it. I made my plans and adjusted my cycles to make sure that when I arrive I can restart. Everything was normal and I was preparing for traveling in two weeks when this cycle became a bust this morning and my doctor told me to abandon all medication. This has failed and AF has arrived. Ofcourse as you have read, I panicked. I didnt want this to happen because in that case I would need to do retrieval around the time my husband leaves back and we all know we need his sperm! I frantically emailed my Specialist in the states and told her what happened. I said should I book a flight or continue on Progesterone. She said continue and keep us updated. My husband told me if you need to leave tomorrow to start treatment just go, but since my doctor didnt tell me to leave I didnt. I also didnt want to pay the extra fees knowing it might not be necessary to go, but if needed be I would. As I was sitting and discussing with my friend how uncertain this entire experience has been, I get the biggest sign from god. I randomly opened my email and found one for my flight saying that I was ready to check in. Which meant that ny flight was leaving in 4 hours and if I go I have to pack everything within 2 hours. I called my husband frantically telling him I dont know how this happened! My flight was booked for the 24th!! As much as we didnt want to be seperated for that long…we couldnt see it as anything but a sign from God. A sign that I should go, whatever the outcome will be. I am currently in transit…accepting this change of fate and adjusting accordingly…for we have all realized thats all we can do. I will continue to adjust accordingly to whatever the outcome may be from this..but I finally feel an arm on my shoulder watching over me and my baby to be.

3 Responses to “A Change of Plan”

  1. Lauren March 14, 2013 at 12:14 pm #

    WOW! This is amazing! At this rate, we will once again be almost on the exact same days of our first IVFs cycles! Incredible how God works. I have done 3 days of stims so far. Sending prayers and hugs your way. Try to take a deep breath and schedule a massage or something after you arrive 🙂

  2. Lauren March 20, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

    Good Afternoon! Now that you are in the states, I am assuming that you are in Eastern Time Zone, so you are also enjoying “afternoon/evening.” 🙂 Anyway, since I hadn’t heard from you in a week or so, I wanted to check on you and see how you are doing. I have barely been blogging recently with all of the other family/IVF time commitments. However, I want you to know that you are on my heart quite a bit! Hoping for good news this coming month!

    • bloggerkuwait March 20, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

      Hi Sweetheart! Yes, I honestly haven’t been blogging because I am just so sad, because I arrived and as soon as they told me I was perfectly ready for a cycle I found out that under the insurance to cover IVF we would have had to be trying actively for 2 years…which I haven’t so most likely I won’t be able to do it since we don’t have $20,000 to fork up. The problem is, they found 45 follicles growing just from the shots I got and i still hadbt had mature enough follicles yet. Any regular cycle won’t work for me so I don’t know what we’ll do now. Honestly I’m just trying to cope with all of this and figure out what our next steps will be.
      On another note, I’m so so excited for you!! I’ve been thinking about you so much and praying for you everyday that this IVF cycle works for you. Keep your chin up and being optimistic about all of this. Happy thoughts all the time for a happy womb 🙂

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