P-C

6 Apr

My appointment for bloodwork and ultrasound went well the other day. I was so nervous to find out the results…but my ultrasound found everything calm and quiet and my bloodwork all passed. This means that I will be starting all my medication tomorrow night.
I had a brief breakdown yesterday. Ofcourse, the hubs ate it as usual. I felt so bad afterwards. I think I’m just so overwhelmed with the pressure of IVF and just nervous about everything in general. I keep bottling everything in and then something really petty and small that makes me feel like I am not in control will make me blow up. I don’t like that one bit. I don’t like what I’ve become because of this. I am 99% okay, but that 1% of psychoness I’m not fond of. I just feel really really bad that I keep blowing up on him like that.

On another thought, yet so similar at the same time…this diagnosis has changed so much about me and my life. Not just my future family potential but also my social life. I briefly went over this in a past post- but for some reason my patience has gone down to 0. I don’t know if its the hormones, the experience or the diagnosis but I truly feel like I have changed with my family and friends. I used to be a lot nicer (I’m still nice though), more patient, and typically I let people step slightly over me to keep whatever relationship I had. Basically, I would let things slide…even though I have a very strong personality and that’s not something usual of me. I have now become aggressive, just straight up cut people that I don’t feel like are genuine or good for me right out of my life. I speak my mind (and usually it’s not very diplomatic) and think I’ve pissed a lot of people off. I feel bitter. I’m not as sympathetic an empathetic towards others. Is it hormones or I’m just a bitter bitch? I don’t know, it upsets me sometimes…but sometimes I feel like its better because I don’t need toxic people or situations in my life. Has anyone else dealt with the same thing as me? Or am I the only crazy lady out there?

6 Responses to “P-C”

  1. springchicken2 April 7, 2013 at 7:55 am #

    Ohhh my goodness! I have become a bitter, aggressive bitch too! I’m so glad I’m not the only one…

    • bloggerkuwait April 10, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

      So nice to share with other amazing ladies ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. lamentingthelentil April 7, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    Don’t feel too bad, friend. We’re going through a really stressful time in our lives. That can have a huuuuge impact on our mood, level of irritability, etc. It’s normal. But I know that probably doesn’t make you feel any better about it.

    Also, this is exciting. You are closer than you’ve ever been to a cycle where you have a GREAT chance of becoming pregnant. That’s huge! And stressful, yes, but also enormously exciting!!

    • bloggerkuwait April 10, 2013 at 3:41 pm #

      That’s very true…so stressful! And you’re right! The closest ever! That makes me a bit nervous for the outcome though…but I’m having faith and keeping my patience up in orders to get through this safely ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. newtoivf April 7, 2013 at 9:44 pm #

    I’m totally a bitter bitch now! Don’t worry all the best girls are! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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