Tag Archives: pcod

Take Off

22 Dec

In less than 24 hours ill be headed on a flight back to the States to see my family. Here’s the update on what I will be checking out when I get there- a consultation with my Ob-Gyn. She has never previously treated me for PCOS since I was diagnosed here in Kuwait. I will be interested to see what she tells me about my specific case. I have bought all my fertility treatments today to take back with me incase I do get AF on time, when I will be there. 1 clomid pack and 6 fostimon tubes and about $110 down, I am ready to go. I will possibly be seeing a specialist…I want to see what my doc says first, but I’m really in major need of advice from the most specialized doctor on this since I’m only going back for 2 weeks. I also looked up and emailed an acupuncturist who specializes in treating PCOS- or so I hope. I haven’t heard back yet but I really hope that I can do this because I heard it helps. I also set up appointments with a therapist…I definitely need it after all I’ve been through here all alone. I think my sanity is almost gone from trying to conceive. What hurts the most is that I’m 23 and broken. I know I keep repeating it…but I’m still not over the fact that I have this. I think therapy will help me understand and accept my situation a lot better, and everyone needs to be healthy mentally, physically and emotionally to have a baby. Also, this time will also be jam packed with lots of family and friends time…this is also part of my healing…having my loved ones around me. I will definitely miss the hubs…but I need this…we need this. I need to make sure that I’m getting the best treatment possible with PCOS. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday…and may 2013 be our lucky year ladies…cheers!

Sprinkles sprinkles

4 Dec

After a long month and a half of waiting to start my clomid+fostimon, the time has finally come. I got my period yesterday and already started my clomid today. I need all the baby prayers I can get because at this point it’s been too difficult. I’m not really sure what ill do if this fertility treatment doesn’t work. I’m crossing my fingers….

All my love to the women out there trying this month…may this one be your last 🙂

Hair loss, Pregnancy Test and Torture

25 Nov

I’ve been staying away from the blog for the past week or so because I am trying to stop thinking about everything that’s going wrong with my body. I’m so frustrated because last week I went to the dermatologist to talk about my hair that fell out a few years ago when I got very sick. It just has never grown back normally again so I wanted to see my options. The second I told him I’m doing fertility treatments he told me that I might lose more hair from the treatments I’m doing. I just looked at him with a blank face and said great. I get usually pretty sarcastic when I’m upset and overwhelmed. Guess what happened a few days later? My hair has been falling out in chunks. Literally. How? I haven’t even begun my fertility treatments yet because I’ve been waiting for Mother Nature to arrive. It hasn’t, I didn’t ovulate so now I have to take primolut to get it. Frustration doesn’t even begin to explain what’s happening with me. And to top it all off, I went today to get a CT scan for my sinuses and they asked me to go get a pregnant test done just incase since I’m past my period date. Then the receptionist grinned so big and kept staring at me and said so well be congratulating you huh! And all I wanted to say is…no don’t do this to me. You don’t get it I can’t be pregnant, I can’t even get pregnant. Here I am in the waiting room waiting for the results while probably more hair is falling out. Cheers to that.

Body Changes

8 Nov

I’m not sure if any other women have had the same experience as me, but as soon as I got off birth control my body started changing so much which I later found out was due to the PCOD. I think more than anything this change bothers me the most. This is the first time I’ve ever talked about this, outloud or simply writing. I think I’ve been pretty embarrassed about this, and also not really sure how to approach dealing with it. Ever since I stopped my BC, my pelvis has expanded so much. My pelvis area is just constantly bloated as if I am about 3 months pregnant, which always throws me off. Also, I’m having a lot more bloating around my stomach area, which comes and goes(but mostly comes) and my bra size has gone down from a small C to a small B. the whole swollen breasts and bloating around your period time never happens for me anymore, which I used to get while on birth control. I’m kind of choking up writing this, but it’s really difficult when you see your body becoming less feminine and more masculine….how do I deal with that…especially when I’m such a girlie girl? I really pray no other changes happen because I can barely deal with what is happening now…

Sharing is Caring

7 Nov

One of the friends I shared the news with about my PCOD has decided to get off her birth control to see how her cycle is and whether or not she’s good to go with baby making in a year or so. She’s a few years older than me, so when she heard my story and watched the latest Kardashian episode on khloe not ovulating, she decided to find out for herself. I didn’t mean to freak her out, and she’s most likely fine…but the fact that I raised a little bit of awareness on this subject means the world to me. It made me really happy that atleast she knew, because knowledge is power. I pray for her that she will be just fine after she gets off birth control and that she never has to deal with what I am dealing with. Sharing is definitely caring.

On another note….congratulations America, I couldn’t be happier for Obama.

Yoga & Dance

4 Nov

ImageYesterday i went to try a gym in Kuwait that has Pilates, Yoga & Dance classes. I’ve always been a complete advocate for health and working out to improve your body’s natural rhythm. My problem was that everytime i would go to the gym i wouldn’t really know what to do. I would stand and stare at all the different equipment in confusion about where to start and what to do. I thought that this place would be awesome, i would be able to get a great workout in without actually feeling like im working out. The yoga class worked me out to the bone, stretched me out more than i needed to and made me feel a little more whole. I then entered the dance class. Every girl that stood there looked like she was trying to work out her body and lose some weight here and there while i was the stick girl that walked in. Everyone was looking at me like why am i here exactly? I know i don’t need to lose weight, but my problems stem so much deeper. While they gave me weird looks, i stood feeling even more out of place. Their ovaries probably work. How much i envy them for that. If they only knew…

More Testing…

4 Nov

My husband went to do some testing for himself yesterday before i start the shots. I’ve been a nervous wreck ever since then waiting for the results. I am so torn inside because a part of me wishes i’m not the only one thats broken, the only one that could be blamed for all of our problems conceiving; yet at the same time i hope and pray so hard that there isn’t something wrong with him because that hurts our overall chances of conceiving all together. What a bad a bitter feeling to be inside of you. It’s such a daunting feeling that i’m just trying to completely wash out so that i don’t have to think about it. It’s just simply a waiting game now…