Tag Archives: progesterone

To test or not to test?

30 Apr

Thank you for all the wishes everyone sent my way in my last post- it really made me feel so much better when I read each one. Today I am 4dp5dt and I’m already itching for POAS…but….utterly utterly terrified of the outcome. I was suppose to go get pregnancy tests yesterday but I chickened out and said I’d wait one more day. So…maybe I will test at 5dp5dt and we will see from there. My beta will be on next Monday since I didn’t have any HCG in me. When I had my retrieval they were too terrified to give me any incase of hyper stimulation. So everything I’m analyzing and feeling is the high amount of progesterone I’m using? The estrogen? Was it there before? I’ve had no implantation bleeding and I check every. Single. Time. I. Pee. Nothing. Nada. I’m too scared, and everytime I think about it I have an anxiety attack. What if its negative? Everything I’ve done and gone through has been for a waste. How will I afford another transfer? I can’t do another round of IVF hubs isn’t here and can’t come here again! I can’t stay for another 2 months more…his family is already frustrated that I’ve been gone for so long away from him…thinkin we have some marital issues…but only if they knew that we didn’t and its just for us to have our baby. I’m just too scared. Can’t do it.

Endometrial Biopsy

8 Jan

Here’s my issue- being ripped apart from my insides to be told that I didn’t ovulate. Well, no shit Sherlock I’ve been repeating the same story for the past 6 months. My progesterone tests say it, my lack of period says it, and my other doctors say it. It made me realize my gynecologist here has no idea what she’s dealing with. I get that it’s good to do extra tests as precautions and all, but I really dislike being told that without this biopsy they can’t help me with anything, gave me hell to do it for me since I only had a two day vault to get it done in, and then in the end just reaching this simple conclusion. Even my fertility specialist didn’t think it was necessary to get it done. I’m just mad cuz it hurt…it hurt like a bitch. Has anyone else ever done an endometrial biopsy? I also got it done the same day as my septoplasty which made matters even worse, as if I wasn’t going to be in enough pain on my own right? Either way, what a half waste of my time and pain. I hope no one else has to ever get one. She said it would feel like a really bad cramp…what it actually felt like was a dagger litterly ripping my insides apart…I almost had a heart attack. Either way, here I am with the same conclusion I came with. Waiting on more technical tests to come back this week or the next and then heading back to Kuwait to hopefully start new rounds of treatment. It’s a new year…I’m looking at it just like a new beginning.

Results.

20 Dec

So here it is, just as I expected the last few days. I didn’t even ovulate. I had a breakdown yesterday, not such a bad one, but really mostly wailing and crying all day uncontrollably. I woke up today and started crying right in bed as well because just like most bad days, we go to sleep and when we wake up we wish it was just a dream…and when we find out that it’s not…the whole world starts crumbling down on you again. I’m struggling. The only silver lining is that I will be traveling in 4 days to go see my family in the states as well as get a second opinion on my treatment. The worst part of all of this I how I found out that I didn’t ovulate. I was at the hospital getting a cleaning for my teeth done when I decided to stop by my doctors office to see if they had gotten my results. After half an hour of waiting I found out that they did and went to pick up the results at the lab. My progesterone number was so low, that I literally sunk deep down into my black hole. I couldn’t believe it. A 1.64. I just wanted to get a confirmation today from her, and I did. So here it is. My PCOS story.

The deep dark ugly black hole

18 Dec

I blew it and i cheated. I went to the pharmacy to pick up an early pregnancy test to test on friday and then he ended up telling me about a test that can tell you if youre pregnant upto 5 days past intercourse. I looked at him and said forreal?? Is that even possible? He said yeab ofcourse! After a lot of back and forths with my brain i decided to test for the heck of it. To prove the test wrong? To prove me wrong? A little bit of everything. Ofcourse the test came back negative. I didnt ovulate and i didnt get pregnant. I dont wanna tell my husband, i wont kill the beautiful idea in his head that i might be carrying our baby for a few more days until i hear from my doctor about my progesterone test. I will now sink into my deep, dark hole of depression. Excuse me if i do.

Progesterone Test

18 Dec

Im having a problem because i woke uo bright and early today to go do my progesterone test…you know the one i couldnt sleep yesterday because of. When i asked the lab how long it will take to get the results they said 3 days. 3 whole $//@^@&!^ days!!!! I vowed i wouldnt do a pregnancy test until i found out if i ovulated or not…and now this has put my hope more on hold. I saw a tiny bit of spotting yesterday and i had cramps before, but for some reason i keep reminding myself that its probably just all in my head. All my symptoms arent real…i did not even ovulate. Excrutiating has just become torturous. Sigh.